I need brain(s)

Saturday, July 23

Yes, I was just being a shadow for the mean time I guess. Second semester is going to come to an end in just less than four months. It was so hectic. But at the same time, all the subject are quite captivated for me to pass it all. Tttrial SPM is just around the corner, in just 11 days left for me to cover up every subjects! I don't know if I could make it, I don't know. My mind is fluttering, I don't know where I am now.

Damn, I miss my bed here at home, nothing to be said anymore instead of I am totally home-sick :| Anyway, I have decided to do something new. I have been rather depressed lately (which I don’t really know the reason why,) Abid and some of my friends are totally busy with books on their hand, pluck in earphone, and no more Maggie in their locker, while I'm still sitting in the room, starring the ceiling, and losing myself.

I know I should work out with something, to prove everyone. But, I don't know. Mama Norul and everyone here put such a high expectation on me, and somehow I feel burdened. Its like something stuck, in your lung that you can't even help yourself to breathe anymore and just wait for the time to come and you die straight away.

And have you ever wake up in the morning and abruptly you felt, emptiness. Have you ever cry every single day, night or even every hours. Have you ever feel deeply stinging on your heart. And then I cried so hard but nobody hears me, nobody even cares me. I wish I could hold someone who really can believe what's going to happen in the future. I'm not controlling the future. ButI hope I can build a special one, like everybody does. I'm done, and actually I already gave up.

And I'm going to face my TTTRIAL SPM starting from 3rd August. Wish the best for it aight providences, and also for all the students :-)

Till then, goodbye

P/S : Ainn is heading to Terengganu, I'm just hoping that we could meet up. Insyallah :D