/ Exhausting

Tuesday, January 7

I woke up,
To the sweating hands,
To the shaking body,
To the tears that I cant even control. 

I have been like this,
For the junking few years,
Its tiring, I swear its exhausting,
More than words I can put up to. 

How sick is it,
To woke up to the feeling,
Knowing that you’re nothing,
To everyone ― 
Even to the closest people you thought you had. 

And those flashbacks,
Ironically have more power
Than you couldnt even imagine. 
That took over me within any second. 

I swear I’m trying to head up,
But god damn I swear until when?

Now even a few puffs of roll up cant make me feel better. 
Now I can tell you, the time is near. 
And I’m smiling.