It's interesting, isn't it.

Friday, March 7

Well /cough/ hi /clear throats/ I'm finally 20! Yay (?) No? Well everything is pretty much the same to me. Nothing changed. 

Well lately, I have this thought a lot. If a person lives really long time, maybe 100 years? And there are a lot of people who don't live that long. But in that time, how much of that will I be doing the things that I want to do? The time I spend eating really good food. And the time I spend talking to the person I like. And the time I spend having sincere and truthful conversations. The time holding someone's hand like this. We've lost too much time compared to other people, I want to hold it a long time. I'm going to do things I love, writing, for a long time, too. And I suppose I need to count the calories, but I'm going to go around looking for good food and try it all. On my 20th birthday, I started a (almost) new life, I think that I already died once, and I'm going to use the rest of my time wisely.

Well life doesn’t always introduce you to the people you want to meet. Sometimes life puts you in touch with the people you need to meet – to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to gradually strengthen you into the person you were meant to become. 

But really, I dont really mind the number of people who decided to leave and stay. Because neither of that even bother me. What matters to me the most right now is to wait for the day I finally move to a small apartment by myself in a new city. I just need to get off this place really soon, far away from here where nobody knows my name, the place where nobody would even dare to ask me where am I going to, nobody would even laugh at things I love to do and most of all where nobody can find me. 

I dont know how to put this into words, but God, please, just for once, please please let me get what I want.