A night before I go,

Friday, July 1

With a big bunned-hair, a cup of hot milk I made myself. Suddenly I feel longing, something missing. And just now someone asked me, about my personal philosophy about the L word. Love is weird, and odd, actually. I think I've fallen into it, a few times now. I think I've fallen out of it, a few times now, also. But now I know, I no longer think. I had no idea, and still don't. (But deep inside, I'm sure of an idea, that I've known a love so eternal I can't let it go, yet again, it's just an idea.)

You know, when you already feel that 'something' when you are with him, and thats make you think twice. You see them, and you think to yourself, "This, this is the one." You feel their touch, and you think to yourself, "This, this is perfect." Sort of this, that make you think that he is the one, the only one for you. I am not good in writing about this actually, because it sounds weird when a seventeen-year-old girl trying to write about what we called love is. But hey, who cares? Just some random assumptions about what had happened to me these past few days. That already knocked me real hard.

I dont know. Just, I dont know how to write about my feeling anymore. Its rather complication in it, or anything else that already chocked my breathe out. Lately I've been having a lot of thoughts of what would happen after school. For God's sake, we're finishing high school in 4 months. Wow, a big wow here. I've been thinking how I would miss school uniform. How I would miss those screaming at the roll-call pavi. Everything.

Its all complete mindfuck. I tell you what.

Another thing is that I honestly would miss my friends and of course him. A lot, I guess. God knows, how strange this man could comfort me when I'm at my worst. One that could touched my heart when I feel horribly insecure. Whom I can have good conversations, healthy arguments, and comfortable silence with.

Thats him, my best friend for life.