If your friend is crying over a break up in the middle of the night and you have a Psychology final at 6 AM... it’s okay to choose the test and support her in the morning. If you’ve promised someone that you would see a movie with them but stayed up all night coughing your brains out... it’s okay to reschedule. You do not need to feel obligated to sacrifice your own self for the sake of someone else all of the time. If people call you a selfish for saving up the last piece of yourself remember that this is not disappointing people, it is setting healthy boundaries. The only person you are born to nurture is you.
Not wanting to date someone because you aren’t physically attracted to them doesn’t make you an asshole. Wanting to sit at home watching TV instead of hanging out with people doesn’t make you an asshole. Cutting off a friendship that was not satisfying to you doesn’t make you an asshole. If saving your own self is being called selfish, I don’t know what would the “love yourself” quotes really meant. Don’t apologise for feeling something or a lot. Once you know your worth, nothing can stop you. I have insecurities and fears of course, but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out to me.
That’s why, surround yourself with the right people.
Run. My advice is — run. Leave people who make you feel bad about wanting to take care of yourself. Leave people who points out how your tummy jiggles... leave. Leave and never turn back to those people who make fun about doing things you love to do. It’s okay to love yourself until you forgot how to love someone else. Just go and fly so high until your feet can’t feel the ground, it’s for yourself and not for someone else. Along the way, find someone who is happy to see how you coach your life. Find that person who feels glad to found you when you are fixing yourself and not to fix you. Whatever is good for the soul, do that. You’re the sum of all the greater parts. You are worth loving and you are not an asshole.