Saturday, December 19

I know you have been feeling worried and anxious about your future, but you will succeed anyway. You’re still young and you’re not supposed to have your whole life figured out yet. Don’t stress. Everything will work out. We all need to collectively unlearn the idea that certain achievements (i.e. graduating college, getting a job, moving out, etc) only count if they’re achieved by a certain age or within a “normal” time frame. Going through life at your own pace does not equate laziness or failure. Accomplishments don’t have an expiration date. Don’t worry if you’re not where you want to be yet. Great things take time. 

You wanna know what living life to the fullest actually is? It’s waking up on a Monday morning with no complaints. It’s knowing you always deserve to laugh. It’s doing what feels right no matter what. It’s doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. It’s about being yourself, because no one can tell you you’re doing it wrong. Do things, just do things your future self will thank you for. Whatever is good for the soul, do that. And, my advice is that make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.

2015 has brought me closer to number of people who would stick with me when I ran out of girl power. I’ll remember the ones who left and I’ll cherish the ones who stayed. I’ll be good to the new and reminisce the old. As cliché as it sounds, suddenly I wonder, where is the girl that I was last year? Two years ago? What would she think of me now? Maybe I saved my country in my former life to have someone who could handle me because most often than not, we all know that not just anyone can handle me.  I’ll hold on to this one person who always have my back and would listen to my exhausting rantings about my longing feels.

I realise I exist between self-destroy and self-love but most of the time, I saw myself shattering every pieces left inside me. This is another year passed without a day failing to lose the sight of you from my mind. I guess that’s what your first pain did to you. What if life is actually all the moments we miss out on while working towards a better one? Life’s a slow process. People need to be kinder. Life is already hard as it is. I will always keep names of people who still accept me despite seeing me battling my nights mumbling words of leaving, missing and it hurts.

To see me acting tough on days and a crumbling pastry at nights, and not leaving. For giving me a back rub when I need it the most. And for reminding me of how much a greater person I am, thank you. For leaving me a mental note when I was consumed with the darkest thoughts — you are different, in the most beautiful way. It’s sad that no one can see that. Thank you. Thank you for dragging me out of that corner. I couldn’t do that without you.